Jesus paid it all

Posted: November 20, 2011 in Uncategorized

On my way to church this morning I was overwhelmed by the amount of things I try to accomplish on my own. I was reflecting on my accomplishments and short comings in life. Today I find myself more on track with my career, more focused on relationships with friends, recommitted to my family that I have neglected, fully committed to a church that I love, pouring myself out on this blog, sexually pure and more focused than ever on the calling God has placed on my life. God has been speaking to me and speaking through me more than ever. I see fruit in almost everything I am doing. My heart is changing daily. I speak about Jesus all day long, I try to point to Jesus in every conversation I have. Jesus is on my mind all day long and there is rarely a moment when i’m not thinking about him.

Then I begin to think about how I have left Jesus out of all that I have accomplished and been doing. It’s been so long since I spent an evening in prayer, got up early to spend time with Jesus, the last time I took a sabbath and I can’t remember the last time I truly had to rely on Him for something. I pray several times during the day for a few minutes, I throw down a short prayer before I go to bed and the occasional prayer on the way to work. A person might say that having him on my mind all day is prayer or that little prayers all day are sufficient. However that’s not the case for me, I need time with my Father. As I began to pray I kept apologizing to Jesus for not talking to him, for not spending time with him, for not partnering with him in everything I do. I felt like crap almost to the point of rejection by him.

I got to church and quickly forgot about my lame prayer and apology I had made to God. When worship started Dustin led us in the song “Jesus paid it all” and I got rocked. Jesus reminded me that I am not a Christian because of anything I have done and I am not a Christian because of the things I don’t do anymore. I am Christian because Jesus saved me, He has given me a new heart, He was crucified on a cross for my sins, He is alive and his Spirit dwells inside of me! What he did on the cross was enough! There is nothing I can do to add to what He has already done!

After Jesus spoke this deep into my heart during worship I find myself even more in love with Him, i’m excited to come home tomorrow after work to pray for a few hours, I can’t wait to start fasting again, I can’t wait to worship him! Not because i’m trying to make up for where I have fallen short but because He loves me!

Jesus I love you with all of my heart. I miss you. I can’t wait to spend more time with you. Thank you for saving me.

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